The Sensitive Man
The sensitive man is often shun upon in society. A man is supposed to be brave and bold, to not talk about his emotions. In the past, sensitive women would also be labelled as hysteric threats.
I am mostly interested in the sensitive man, as he is the one I know best.
I remember distinctly when I was told as a child, that being a sensitive man was dangerous in this world. These words are still engraved in my soul.
For most of my life, I viewed my sensitivity as a curse. Like many other men, I hid my emotions and my true feelings in order to stay safe. But this cost me my joyfulness and every inch of my soul.
I don't know why the sensitive man is looked down upon in society. Perhaps he resembles too much the world of the feminine, of his mother, and lacks the strength of the masculine.
In reality, I think it is a mix of things. On one hand, the sensitive man doesn't fit well in a society that is dominated by excessive masculinity. Whether it be in work, love, or the way we treat the planet, our way of being is based on dominance and aggression.
We could say that the sensitive man is taking one step forward. He has opened his heart to feeling and listening to other points of view. He contemplates, dreams, and writes poems about life and death.
But often times, he lacks the virility and assertiveness of the masculine. I felt this in my childhood and teenage years. I knew how to be empathic and kind, but I didn't know how to stand up for myself and be decisive.
Sometimes, my wild side would erupt in the form of violence and bullying, simply because it had been repressed too much. And it was labelled with shame.
Sensitivity is a reconnection with the feminine side present in all of us. It's a necessary step. But it needs a container, some form of protector, a sacred space to blossom. This is normally the role of the father, but oftentimes nowadays, he is not as present or does not know how to play this role.
Men are lost and are at a transition point. The role of women is changing fast and we have to adapt. There needs to be a new way for men to be in this world. A way that accepts and integrates our feminine and masculine sides.
The sensitive man is not broken, nor a defect. He is just a transition point all men have to go through on their way to reclaiming their masculinity. We all need to reconnect to our true feelings and the broken parts of ourselves. And for this, we need to give ourselves permission to break into tears and surrender to our grief.
This is a call for the hearts of men who are longing to awaken all the parts of their souls. Our power doesn't come only from brute force or empathic listening. We are containers, servants of the feminine. Tender souls with strong hearts.
The question is not which is better, but how do we bring back into balance all these different parts. The warrior and the artist don't have to be enemies. Courage and love can go hand in hand.
Men are now called to awaken to their true power and break out of their slavery. We have lost the meaning of the divine masculine within us, and it is time we reclaim it.
I wrote this piece 1 year 1/2 ago, at a time where I was asking myself many questions about what balanced and integrated masculinity looks like in the world. As I read it back today, I still feel the resonance of these words in my heart, and the calling to find a new way (or remember the ancient way) for men in the 21st century.
