Mastering Consistency
Consistency is a muscle that anyone can develop. But it takes consistency to develop consistency. So where do we start?
Repetition is what creates habits and mastery. Yet, for most people consistency is something very difficult to achieve in daily life.
I have found through experience, that our life drastically transforms, by showing up every day with certain behaviors and principles.
The truth is, you don't need to focus on many habits at the same time. Always start with the one that will have the biggest impact right now.
This one habit will create ripples in all areas of your life.
Over the years, I have discovered 7 guiding principles when it comes to developing consistency and self-mastery.
Get very clear on your why
Whatever behavior or habit you are changing, you must know why you are doing it. When your mind and emotions try to derail you, you’ll need a deeper purpose to continue. Your why is something you take time to develop, it needs to really feed your soul. The stronger your purpose, the stronger your commitment will be.
This why has to be relevant to you, it needs a direct link to your experience and what you need right now. When I started meditating, my purpose was to release anxiety and develop inner peace. It was something I related to personally, and most of all, I could feel the impact of this new habit every day. My purpose was clear and I knew that this one habit would change my life (and it did).
Make it small and easy
Most people set out to create new habits with high and ambitious targets. If your why is very strong, go along with it. But most of us need to make our behavior as small and easy as possible. This means that instead of working out 1h every day, your goal is 10 minutes a day. Of course, you can still do one hour, but keep your baseline low. Rather than aiming for drastic changes, build up the momentum, and create a habit of showing up consistently.
To make it easy, remove what makes it difficult to take action. If you're learning to meditate, have a dedicated area ready, so that you can practice as soon as you wake up. If you’re changing your diet, remove unhealthy foods in your home and stock up on nutritious ones. Remove all distractions, kryptonites, and obstacles. Everything that requires a lot of effort and creates friction. Make the habit easy to maintain, and your life will transform naturally over time.
Keep it simple and repetitive
When you start to build a habit, don't switch around when, where, and what you are doing every day. Keep your new behavior consistent without changing the structure. Once you have built a strong foundation, you can start to bring in variety. But first, you want to keep it simple and repetitive until it becomes as natural as brushing your teeth. It takes a lot of effort and willpower to change your habits every day. Over time, your habits will require less and less effort to do.
True progress comes by sticking with a practice long enough to build a solid foundation. So begin by mastering the basics. From there, you naturally evolve. If you feel it’s time to change your practice, modify the way you do it (mindset, technique, principles) or what you're doing. Do your best to keep the practice enjoyable and engaging. The more present you are, the faster your change.
Create a daily habit of showing up
The habits that truly change our life are the ones we do the most regularly. And by regularly I mean at least once a day. Some say that a few times a week works better. In my experience, the greatest changes come from frequency, not intensity. You don't rewire your mind with a few sessions of meditation a week. You do so by showing up every day. The same goes with any habit or any goal.
If you're starting to exercise, focus on one smaller practice a day, instead of a few big ones a week . Whatever you are building, you want to show up as often as possible because that is where the magic happens. Again, you don't need to show up at 100% every time. Sometimes it’s 50 or 70% effort. Listen to yourself and what you are capable of now. Don’t force the process, focus on showing up.
Don't listen to your mind and emotions
A crucial point to any powerful change in life, is rewiring our thoughts and beliefs. This starts with a strong why and knowing what you want to change. The darker part of the journey is having to face your inner resistance. The fears, beliefs, and inner battles that prevent us from changing.
Our ego and personality don't appreciate change a lot. Your mind and emotions will try to derail you as you change your habits. Expect that your commitment will be tested. It is your responsibility to protect and nurture the changes you are creating, no one else will do it for you.
It may feel unpleasant to change ingrained habits. But if you want everything to be pleasurable in your life, you will never change. Breaking and building habits is by definition uncomfortable. It is a test of willpower and commitment. For this reason, don’t believe everything your mind tells you. A lot of thoughts and emotions stem from fear and unconscious beliefs.
Be aware of it, know it will happen, and listen to your intuition. What is your inner voice saying? Feel deeper than the surface level. Learn to silence your mind and to not be triggered by discomfort. That is the key to any successful change. And most of all, follow your heart, as it knows what is best for you!
Find your community and mentors
When you begin to change, outside influences might try to derail you. One of the most powerful allies of inner transformation is community. If you surround yourself with people that have similar values and aspirations, you will be naturally drawn to stay consistent. Find people that understand you, relate to your struggles, and encourage you when things get tough (and they will).
A big misconception in life is that we have to do everything alone. Personally, my growth skyrocketed when I started to work with my mentor. Her presence and guidance completely transformed my life. Connecting with community and mentors regularly, gives us accountability, purpose, and motivation. If you want to transcend yourself, find peers that inspire you and stay around them.
Accept yourself as you are
Whatever change you are pursuing, whether you are breaking or beginning a behavior, accept yourself as you are. Most people begin to change because they are dissatisfied with their current life. Their transformation stems from a rejection of their present reality. This can be tremendous force to start you on your journey, but it’s not a long-lasting one. At some point on your path, you will need to accept yourself as you are. Otherwise, you will never be satisfied with the present moment. You will always be needing to change something.
The problem is the source of your motivation. Changing out of aversion will never bring you to a place of unconditional love. The key lies in letting go of judgments. When you fully accept yourself, with your flaws and your desires, you naturally progress and transform. As there is no resistance anymore, you do what is needed for your highest good. You are not fighting reality anymore. Love and acceptance become the strongest forces on your path of growth and self-mastery.
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Consistency is the foundation to greatness. Only those who show up every day for themselves, can do the same for others. Profound change always starts within us.
Consistency is something we build over our lifetime, not in a matter of months. It is your ability to stay committed and focused on your path. Your habits and behaviors will change over time, but your ability to show up will remain.
Willpower is something we can all develop. It starts with your intention and your why.
Know yourself, understand what truly motivates you, and follow it with all your heart.
In essence, this is the path to self-mastery and deeper fulfillment.
So what's the most important habit you need to change in your life right now? Why? And how will you proceed?
Let's begin, starting today.
