Father & Son

I spent most of my summer sailing with my father and it was one of the most healing experiences of my life.

At first, when I heard my father wasn't well, I tried to stick with my plans. I believed that things would get much better on their own, and that it was more important for me to live my life rather than try to help him.

It was during a conversation with one of his friends that I realized how foolish I was being. If things were bad now, why would I wait for a later time? So I packed my bags and a couple of days later, I was sailing with him in Croatia.

From the beginning, I knew that this experience would be challenging. I needed to show up in ways I had never done before, without letting fear overcome me. In essence, I had to elevate my love muscles to another level.

I had seen my father in many different states during my life, and in many of these, I recognized myself. So I understood my father better than most. In addition, our bond had gotten much closer over the last few years.

But seeing a loved one go through a dark night of the soul is never an easy experience. You want to help, but on the same hand, you have no idea how to. You can't simply save them from their suffering.

So over the months we spent together I developed a new approach. It wasn't anything fancy or complicated. I simply learned to love and care for him unconditionally.

This first required me to develop these qualities within myself. Every day, I needed to make sure that I was treating myself in the same way I wanted to help my father.

There were many ups and downs during our trip. Several times, I was deeply concerned for my father’s wellbeing. Yet, at the end of the day, it was love that pulled me through and helped me stay present for him in these challenging times.

I truly believe that what heals us at the core is to be accepted and loved as we are. When we let go of our judgments, we give others a space where they can be free to be themselves without hiding or pretending.

This wound is strongest amongst men, as we repress our emotions deeper than most. The result being depressive, alcoholic, and evasive men who compromise and feel they didn’t live their life to its utmost potential.

My father is much better now and has started living his life again. But I believe these few months together changed us forever and created an unshakable bond between us.

Sometimes, when we are called to such experiences, we don't know what we are getting into. We see the challenge but not the gift. Yet, this is how life calls us. It is the strange pull that guides our hearts towards the experiences that transform our lives.

I had never spent this much time alone with my father before, and I might never get this chance again.

In these long days and nights of sailing, we got to know and love each other anew. First, as father and son, and later, as two grown men sharing a magical moment together.

I will never forget this experience and all that it taught me. My gratitude keeps expanding for all the gifts I received this summer.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service to my father and to my own healing.

Thank you for the gifts of love and care I received from so many on this journey.

And thank you father, for loving me as I am and always believing in me.

I love you, and I always will.