Cultivating Love

I realized this year that the greatest healing force in our arsenal is love. When we are dealing with any kind of trauma, fear, or wound, love is what guides us home to our hearts and gives us hope.

I don't mean love in the romantic way portrayed in movies. But love as an energy source, a vast ocean that embraces all of our pain and joy, fear and negativity, without judging them.

True love is unconditional in the sense that it doesn't separate or reject anything. It is the feeling of wholeness that we all seek in our lives. The feeling that we are cared for, nurtured, and that all of our fears can slowly wash away.

The thing is, we don't need anyone else to give ourselves that kind of love. If anything, the more we give it to ourselves, the more we can receive it from others.

In my eyes, cultivating love isn't so much an action as it is a way of being. It is how we learn to embrace all of our facets, the good and the ugly, without making preferences.

When we hold ourselves daily with love and care, something beautiful happens. We begin to feel safer to be in our heart, parts of us arise to the surface to be healed, and we don't desperately seek love and acceptance from others anymore.

Now, I know, this all sounds nice and abstract but how do we actually cultivate love within ourselves?

Firstly, we must recognize that love isn't an emotion but the way we approach ourselves and everything that happens to us. When we are in fear and in pain, our initial response is to reject it or run away.

But when love comes around, it embraces all of it. It holds space for whatever is arising in our awareness and doesn't judge it. Instead, it welcomes that pain in, and as it does, the pain gently begins to dissolve, giving space to love.

This means that whenever we are feeling negative emotions, instead of rejecting them, we allow space for them to be felt wholeheartedly. This is painful and sometimes scary, but it’s liberating and it teaches us to heal our deepest wounds.

Secondly, learn to care for yourself and others. Caring is one of the most basic human actions and it includes all the actions, words, and thoughts, we direct towards someone to show affection and empathy.

Think of a child or a person that you truly love. How would you care for them when they feel ill or scared? And how do you care for yourself when you feel wounded and vulnerable?

Are you harsh and judgmental? Or are you kind and tender?

Caring is in the small things we do. The words we use, the way we cook, the hugs we give... It is how we make ourselves and others feel seen, heard, and accepted.

Love is the ocean that embraces all the ups and downs of human life. It does not judge, it simply accepts and loves unconditionally. For us, that means that whenever we are feeling down or afraid, we still love and care for ourselves.

Thirdly, find activities that help you connect to the feeling of love. For me, that includes nature, music, meditation, breathing, writing, gratitude, and self-compassion. These are my tools to foster love in myself daily, and when I need it the most.

The beauty here is that the more you give love to yourself, the more abundantly you can give love to others without needing anything in return.

Remember, love is like an energy source. The more empty we feel, the more we will seek love and validation from others. Yet, nothing can really fill our tank as much as loving and caring for ourselves.

Lastly, learn to be present and accepting. All humans desire to be loved no matter what they do or who they are. When we let go of our judgments and are simply present with someone, we give them space to relax and be seen as they truly are.

By being fully present, we show the person that they matter in our lives and that we love them just the way they are. We're not trying to fix or change them, only to be present and share a heartfelt moment together.

There are surely more ways to cultivate love and I would love to hear your take on this. What do YOU do to cultivate love within yourself? What is love for you, and how do you connect to it?

The more unconditional love we have for ourselves, the more we have to offer others.

And there's no greater gift in the world than loving ourselves.