Being Gentle
The process of growth can be arduous at times. It can push us to be hard on ourselves and to be judgmental, neglecting the very essence we are trying to connect with.
In times like these, where I lose touch with what really matters, I am reminded to be gentle with myself. The human journey is a tough one. We don't have to add more weight to our fears and traumas.
Being gentle with ourselves is akin to self-love, but it feels more palpable. I can imagine what gentleness feels like, whereas self-love appears like a general concept that everyone talks about.
Why is it important to be gentle with our process? Well, firstly, nothing long-standing is built through force. We can push ourselves even when it doesn't feel right, but there is always payback.
Gentleness starts with us accepting that we don't have to be tough all the time. That we can be vulnerable, fail, and feel sad, as these are all parts of the human experience.
When we only focus on the bliss and the results, we get side-tracked and lose touch with what's truly real. Being gentle infuses our process with kindness and acceptance.
Allowing ourselves to be real is the prerequisite to happiness. Yet, most of us are taught to discard our feelings and be judgmental with ourselves. Especially as men, we are trained to be strong and not to listen to our emotions.
What this does, is twofold. First, we learn to see gentleness and honoring our process, as a weak and inefficient way to live. The only way to reach our goals becomes through force and hustle. Second, we build an armor to protect us from feeling and connecting to ourselves.
What greater pain is there than loosing touch with our soul and pushing through life in search of a meaningful connection? In truth, what we lost was always there but we were taught it had no value.
For a man to be gentle is often looked down upon in society. However, the ancient ones valued gentleness and acceptance as some of the highest virtues to live by.
Being gentle is unique to everyone but maintains a similar energy. Imagine how your parents or your friends take care of you when you are sick or feeling sad. How can you give this to yourself when you feel you need it?
Self-reliance is foremost internal. It is how we satisfy our deepest needs of connection to Self, acceptance, and validation.
In practice, when I feel the need to be gentle, I allow myself to slow down, play, and disregard any agendas that are not vitally important. I focus on connecting to my soul and being present with what is. There is no force, just kindness and permission to be.
When you practice being gentle with yourself, this also expands outside. As we behave with others the same way we treat ourselves.
Being gentle allows all of yourself to be free. It is nurturing and accepting. It values your well-being as a top priority.
The process of life is hard by itself. So why not infuse it with something that makes it more enjoyable?
Gentleness, acceptance, and love, are not side quests of our journey, but the very foundation of it.
