We are always choosing in life. Every decision we take either brings us closer to despair or closer to the light within us. This is the drama of human existence. Whether we decide to be a victim of our circumstances or not, the choice is up to us.

I think all of us don’t have the good fortune of realizing this in our lives. We often succumb to external circumstances, people, events, desires, and ask ourselves “why me?” I behaved like that for most of my early life. I rejected the responsibility of my unhappiness on others, blaming the outside world for its injustice.

Being a victim is one of the hardest things we can impose on ourselves. It cuts away our free will. It puts us at the mercy of everything we cannot control. It’s a miserable life to live because, in reality, you are not living at all. You are succumbing.

Sadly, some people respond like this all their life. They relinquish all sense of control, by reacting in destructive ways to the outside world. In particular when it comes to our relationships, we are often very quick at blaming others before looking at what we can change within.

The second mindset I would like to explore, is the one of “creator”. Instead of blindly reacting to whatever happens to us, we decide to take a proactive stance instead. We stop asking “why me?”, and ask “what do I want?”. This means we take responsibility for our own life. We accept that our happiness and unhappiness are the results of our own thoughts and actions.

This is one of the most profound paradigm shifts we can experience. But it is also a very tough one. Bearing the responsibility for our actions, thoughts, and emotions, is as empowering as it is terrifying. When you have no one or nothing to blame anymore, you can only find fault in yourself.

Still, moving to that mindset frees us from the power of external events. By acting only on what we can control, our reactions, we can pour our energy into creating the life we want to live. The mindset of creator is one of action and inner fulfillment.

For me, this shift did not happen overnight. My years of victimhood were far too ingrained. It took a year of intense work on myself to build up enough courage to bear the responsibility for my life. And to be clear, I still fall back into the first mode from time to time.

Yet, the creator mindset also has its dark sides. We can become obsessed at imposing our will on life by focusing too much on what we want. We can also feel separated from the bigger whole, and fall into the belief that we should just take care of ourselves.

But I’ve started observing a third mindset, maybe a final paradigm shift. The moment we realize we are only vehicles for something bigger than ourselves. That we are just here to play our role in the greater scheme of the world.

The stage where we overcome the limitations of our ego. When we embrace the interdependent nature of lives and step into any role we are given to the best of our abilities. When we give up our own tiny desires and trust that Nature knows what’s needed of us. When we live in tune with the ultimate, selfless energy, that governs everything.

I know this sounds mystical and I can’t describe it in more detail for now. But I think that anyone that has experienced deep moments of flow, while creating art or serving a cause, knows this feeling. Living it, however, is a whole other deal.